At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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