i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She announced her abortion via fbk
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
