And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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