yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I don't think brook has ever known best
My pussy is not your playground.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
