i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
