I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
