Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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