I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
