exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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