Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I will be naked everywhere
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
