Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize