Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
