You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
