he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
