i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize