so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
