Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
