I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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