I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
