Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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