can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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