how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
