its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
