If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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