please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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