Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
