so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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