I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
