I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
