its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
