he wants to bone in the snuggie
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
