Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
