just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
