I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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