the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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