At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
