I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
