I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i love accidental penises.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize