Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Everything about him screamed your future.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
