I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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