I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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