my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
