I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
