There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
