i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
