wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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