Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
