i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
