i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
