She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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