You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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