Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
