Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize