Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
