Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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