I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
