The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just had sex on a roof
He? As in you personified your dick?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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