just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
