He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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