Kiss
Puke
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
