i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
