I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize