on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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