drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
