I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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