just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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