none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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