She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
