Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
