What did we do last night that was yellow?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
