Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
