just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
