you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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