I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
