I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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