I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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