so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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