you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
