i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
