The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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