There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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