He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
