She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
